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Cards not in Hallmark
Cards You Will Never See In Hallmark
- "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."
- "How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?"
- "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
- "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you."
- "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What was I thinking?"
- "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me."
- "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
- "As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..."
- "Thanks for being a part of my life!!!I never knew what evil was before this!"
- "Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."
- "Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
- "Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with boobs that are bigger than mine."
- "Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike!
- "When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
- "I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."
- "We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits."
- "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
- "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?"
- "You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
- "Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday ---so we're having you put to sleep."
- "Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!" (available only in Arkansas)
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