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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *
* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *
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*   Vol. 6, Issue 06: Mon, Sep. 18, 2000  *
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* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes

# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E

1. Diverting your course
2. New Windows software

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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y

1. Diverting your course

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio
conversation of a US naval  ship with
Canadian authorities off the coast of
Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio
conversation released by the Chief of Naval
Operations 10-10-95. 

Canadians: Please divert your course 15
degrees the South to avoid a collision. 

Americans: Recommend you divert your course
15 degrees the North to avoid a collision. 

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert
your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid
a collision. 

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy
ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. 

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR
course. 

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS
LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE
UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE 
ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE
CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I
DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15
DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE 
FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL
BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS
SHIP. 

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call!

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2. New Windows software

Microsoft announced today that the official
release date for the new operating system
"Windows 2000" will be delayed until the
second quarter of 1901. 

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# S I T E  L I N K S

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