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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







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*   Vol. 6, Issue 06: Mon, Sep. 18, 2000  *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Diverting your course







2. New Windows software















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Diverting your course















This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio







conversation of a US naval  ship with







Canadian authorities off the coast of







Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio







conversation released by the Chief of Naval







Operations 10-10-95. 















Canadians: Please divert your course 15







degrees the South to avoid a collision. 















Americans: Recommend you divert your course







15 degrees the North to avoid a collision. 















Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert







your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid







a collision. 















Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy







ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. 















Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR







course. 















Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS







LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE







UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE 







ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE







CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I







DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15







DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE 







FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL







BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS







SHIP. 















Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call!















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2. New Windows software















Microsoft announced today that the official







release date for the new operating system







"Windows 2000" will be delayed until the







second quarter of 1901. 















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