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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







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*   Vol. 6, Issue 02: Tue, Sep. 12, 2000  *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Bringing wealth to Heaven







2. Driver's license photo















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Bringing wealth to Heaven















There once was a rich man who was near death.







He was very grieved because he had worked so







hard for his money and he wanted to be able







to take it with him to heaven. So he began to







pray that he might be able to take some of







his wealth with him.















An angel hears his plea and appears to him.







"Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with







you."















The man implores the angel to speak to God to







see if He might bend the rules.















The man continues to pray that his wealth







could follow him. The angel reappears and







informs the man that God has decided to allow







him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed,







the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills







it with pure gold bars and places it beside







his bed.















Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at







the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. St.







Peter seeing the suitcase says, "Hold on,







you can't bring that in here!"















But, the man explains to St. Peter that he







has permission and asks him to verify his







story with the Lord.















Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back







saying, "You're right. You are allowed one







carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its







contents before letting it through."















St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the







worldly items that the man found too precious







to leave behind and exclaims, "You brought







pavement!?"















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2. Driver's license photo















When I went to get my driver's license renewed,







our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The







line inched along for almost an hour until the







man ahead of me finally got his license. He







inspected his photo for a moment and commented







to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long,







I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture." 















The woman beside him peered over his shoulder,







then reassured him, "It's okay. That's how you're







going to look when the cops pull you over anyway." 















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