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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *
* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *
* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*   Vol. 5, Issue 1: Mon, Aug. 28, 2000   *
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* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes

# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E

1. I have bad and very bad news
2. Please be standing

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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y

1. I have bad and very bad news

Doctor: I have some bad news and some
very bad news.

Patient: Well, might as well give me the
bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test
results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What
could be worse? What's the very bad news?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since
yesterday.

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2. Please be standing

"If there are any idiots in the room, will
they please stand up," said the sarcastic
teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to
his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider
yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher
with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student,
"but I hate to see you standing up there
all by yourself.".

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# S I T E  L I N K S

Web site: Http://www.AhaJokes.com/
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Contact: Webmaster@AhaJokes.com