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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *
* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *
* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *
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*   Vol. 3, Issue 5: Fri, Aug. 11, 2000    *
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* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes

# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E

1. Appreciating a wife
2. Pilots in the sky
3. Blondes on the bus

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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y

1. Appreciating a wife

One day a man comes home from work to find
total mayhem at home. The kids were outside,
still in their pajamas, playing in the mud
and muck. There were empty food boxes and
wrappers all around. As he proceeded into
the house, he found an even bigger mess.

Dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on
the floor, a broken glass under the table,
and a small pile of sand by the back door.
The family room was strewn with toys and
various items of clothing, and a lamp had
been knocked over. 

He headed up the stairs, stepping over
toys, to look for his wife. He was
becoming worried that she may be ill, or
that something had happened to her. He found
 her in the bedroom, still in bed with her
pajamas on, reading a book. 

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked
how his day went. He looked at her
bewildered and asked, "What happened here
today?" 

She again smiled and answered, "You know
everyday when you come home from work and
ask me what I did today?" 

"Yes," was his reply. 

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!" 

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2. Pilots in the sky

A young guy in a two-engine fighter was
flying escort for a B-52 and generally
being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog,
flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber.

The hotdog said over the air, "Anything you
can do, I can do better." 

The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this
hot-shot." 

The B-52 continued its flight, straight and
level. 

Perplexed, the hotdog asked, "So? What did
you do?" 

"I just shut down two engines, kid." 

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3. Blondes on the bus

Two blondes are waiting on a bus stop, when
a bus pulls up and opens the door. One of
the blondes leans inside and asks the
driver: "Will this bus take me to 5th
Avenue?" 

The bus driver shakes his head and says,
"No, I'm Sorry." 

At this the other blonde leans inside,
smiles and twitters: "Will it take ME?" 

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# S I T E  L I N K S

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Contact: Webmaster@AhaJokes.com