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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *
* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *
* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *
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*   Vol. 3, Issue 4: Thu, Aug. 10, 2000   *
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* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes

# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E

1. Professor for jury duty
2. Serving on the jury
3. Explaining the dinosaurs

# C O M E D Y  M A N  S A Y S . . .

I apologize if anyone felt recent jokes
haven't all been the most hilarious on the
Web.  When sending out an extensive number
of jokes each week, an occasional
less-than-hilarious joke may get sent.

I shall try to select only the top humor,
and please bear with us if you ever see
comedy a bit less funny than your
favorites.  Thank you for your support
thus far, and I hope you enjoy the jokes!

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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y

1. Professor for jury duty
* True story

I just came off of jury duty. None of us was
thrilled to spend hours and hours waiting
around in a boring waiting room to see if
you'd get selected. There was a rather smug
college professor who REALLY didn't want to
be there. When the judge was asking questions
of the prospective jurors, concerning our
abilities to judge fairly among the witnesses
on both sides, the college professor said,
"I don't believe in the justice system of
this state, and I should be relieved." 

I guess he thought he'd be sent home ...

The judge was not impressed, to say the least
and said, "I find you in contempt of this
court. I sentence you to spend one week in
this courtroom. You will serve your sentence
between the hours of 9 am and 4:30 pm, and
may go to have your lunch as the court
stipulates from day to day. I think your
opinion of our justice system will change. If
you fail to carry out your sentence, you will
spend one week in jail. You may now sit down,
professor ... 

The rest of us were tempted to applaud, but
thought better of it. 

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2. Serving on the jury

Judge: Is there any reason you could not
serve as a juror in this case? 

Juror: I don't want to be away from my job
that long. 

Judge: Can't they do without you at work? 

Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it. 

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3. Explaining the dinosaurs

Fact: Scientists have shown that the moon
is moving away at a tiny, although measurable
distance from the Earth every year.

If you do the math, you can calculate that 85
million years ago the moon was orbiting the
Earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the
Earth's surface.

This would explain the death of the dinosaurs.
The tallest ones, anyway.

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# S I T E  L I N K S

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