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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*   Vol. 3, Issue 4: Thu, Aug. 10, 2000   *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Professor for jury duty







2. Serving on the jury







3. Explaining the dinosaurs















# C O M E D Y  M A N  S A Y S . . .















I apologize if anyone felt recent jokes







haven't all been the most hilarious on the







Web.  When sending out an extensive number







of jokes each week, an occasional







less-than-hilarious joke may get sent.















I shall try to select only the top humor,







and please bear with us if you ever see







comedy a bit less funny than your







favorites.  Thank you for your support







thus far, and I hope you enjoy the jokes!















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Professor for jury duty







* True story















I just came off of jury duty. None of us was







thrilled to spend hours and hours waiting







around in a boring waiting room to see if







you'd get selected. There was a rather smug







college professor who REALLY didn't want to







be there. When the judge was asking questions







of the prospective jurors, concerning our







abilities to judge fairly among the witnesses







on both sides, the college professor said,







"I don't believe in the justice system of







this state, and I should be relieved." 















I guess he thought he'd be sent home ...















The judge was not impressed, to say the least







and said, "I find you in contempt of this







court. I sentence you to spend one week in







this courtroom. You will serve your sentence







between the hours of 9 am and 4:30 pm, and







may go to have your lunch as the court







stipulates from day to day. I think your







opinion of our justice system will change. If







you fail to carry out your sentence, you will







spend one week in jail. You may now sit down,







professor ... 















The rest of us were tempted to applaud, but







thought better of it. 















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2. Serving on the jury















Judge: Is there any reason you could not







serve as a juror in this case? 















Juror: I don't want to be away from my job







that long. 















Judge: Can't they do without you at work? 















Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it. 















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3. Explaining the dinosaurs















Fact: Scientists have shown that the moon







is moving away at a tiny, although measurable







distance from the Earth every year.















If you do the math, you can calculate that 85







million years ago the moon was orbiting the







Earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the







Earth's surface.















This would explain the death of the dinosaurs.







The tallest ones, anyway.















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# S I T E  L I N K S















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