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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*    Vol. 1, Issue 5: Fri, Jul. 14, 2000  *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Tips for managers and bosses







2. Clinton's health care plans















# E D I T O R ' S  N O T E S















This completes the first week of the







Laughing Gas newsletter. I'd like to







thank all of our subscribers for







supporting us and helping you laugh







more during the day.















# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















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1. Tips for managers and bosses















1. Never give me work in the morning.







Always wait until 4:00 and then bring







it to me. The challenge of a deadline







is refreshing.















2. If it's really a "rush job," run







in and interrupt me every ten minutes







to inquire how it's going. That helps.















3. Always leave without telling anyone







where you're going. It gives me a







chance to be creative when someone







asks where you are.















4. If my arms are full of papers,







boxes, books, or supplies, don't open







the door for me. I need to learn how







to function as a paraplegic and







opening doors is good training.















5. If you give me more than one job







to do, don't tell me which is the







priority. Let me guess.















6. Do your best to keep me late.  I







like the office and really have







nowhere to go or anything to do.















7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it







a secret. Leaks like that could cost







me a promotion.















8. If you don't like my work, tell







everyone. I like my name to be







popular in conversation.















9. If you have special instructions







for a job, don't write them down. In







fact, save them until the job is







almost done.















10. Never introduce me to the people







you're with. When you refer to them







later, my shrewd deductions will







identify them.















11. Be nice to me only when the job







I'm doing for you could really change







your life.















12. Tell me all your little problems.







No one else has any and it's nice to







know someone is less fortunate.















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2. Clinton's health care plans















The attributes of Clinton's health







plan.  The Clinton Health Plan has







the:















1. Simplicity of the IRS.







2. Results of rent control.







3. Efficiency of the Post Office.







4. Fringe benefits of higher taxes







5. Management success of national debt.







6. Dependency of a weather forecaster.















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