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In a bad nursing home
The Top Signs You're In A Bad Nursing Home
  
- Its named Heaven's Waiting Room. 
  
 - Cheap TV antenna can't pick up Xena: Warrior Princess. 
  
 - Defibrilator doubles as a remote control. 
  
 - Its named Matlock Manor. 
  
 - No furniture in it outside of beds and lots of caskets. 
  
 - Radio stations alternate between Glenn Miller and broadcasting Last Rites in every language known to man. 
  
 - You can't ring a nurse but you can page the attorney's office down the hall. 
  
 - Rectal thermometers made of wood. 
  
 - Two words: Community Bedpan. 
  
  
         
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