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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







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*   Vol. 7, Issue 02: Tue, Sep. 26, 2000  *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Discussing dust at church







2. Saving a business















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Discussing dust at church















After church, Johnny tells his parents he has







to go and talk to the minister right away. They







agree and the pastor greets the family. 















"Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today







that our bodies came from the dust." 















"That's right, Johnny, I did." 















"And I heard you say that when we die, our







bodies go back to dust." 















"Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you







ask?" 















"Well you better come over to our house right







away and look under my bed 'cause there's







someone either comin' or goin'!" 















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2. Saving a business















A man has been in business for many, many years







and the business is going down the drain. He







truly doesn't know what to do. He goes to the







Rabbi to seek his advice.  He tells the Rabbi







about all of his problems in the business and







asks what he should do. 















The Rabbi says "Take a beach chair and a Bible







and put them in your car and drive down to the







edge of the ocean. Go to the water's edge. Take







the beach chair out of the car, sit on it and







take the Bible out and open it up. The wind







will riffle the pages for a while and







eventually the Bible will stay open at a







particular page. Read the first words your







eyes fall on and they will tell you what to do." 















The man does as he is told. He places a beach







chair and a Bible in his car and drives down







to the beach. He sits on the chair at the







water's edge and opens the bible. The wind







riffles the pages of the Bible and then stops







at a particular page. He looks down at the







Bible and his eyes fall on the words and the







section which tell him what he has to do. 















Three months later the man and his family come







back to see the Rabbi. 















The man is wearing a $1,000 Italian suit, the







wife is all decked out with a full-length mink







coat and the child is dressed in beautiful silk.







The man hands the Rabbi a thick envelope full







of money and tells him that he wants to donate







this money to the synagogue in order to thank







the Rabbi for his wonderful advice. 















The Rabbi is delighted. He recognizes the man







and asks him what words or sections in the







Bible brought this good fortune to him. 















The man replies: "Chapter 11". 















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