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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







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*    Vol. 1, Issue 7: Tue, Jul. 18, 2000  *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















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# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. There's car break trouble







2. A client's fee schedule















# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. There's car break trouble















A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer







and a Branch Manager were on their way







to a meeting. They were driving down a







steep mountain road when suddenly the







brakes on their car failed. The car







careened almost out of control down the







road, bouncing off the crash barriers,







until it miraculously ground to a halt







scraping along the mountainside. The







car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now







had a problem: they were stuck halfway







down a mountain in a car with no brakes.







What were they to do?















"I know," said the Branch Manager,







"Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision,







formulate a Mission Statement, define







some Goals, and by a process of







Continuous Improvement find a solution







to the Critical Problems, and we can be







on our way."















"No, no," said the Hardware Engineer,







"That will take far too long, and







besides, that method has never worked







before. I've got my Swiss Army knife







with me, and in no time at all I can







strip down the car's braking system,







isolate the fault, fix it, and we can







be on our way."















"Well," said the Software Engineer,







"Before we do anything, I think we







should push the car back up the road







and see if it happens again."















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2. A client's fee schedule















A lawyer calls his client to tell him







about his fee schedule.















"Alright," the lawyer says looking







through his papers. "You owe me $1000







down and $417.58 cents each month for







the next thirty-six months.















"What! That sounds like a car payment







schedule," retorted the client.















"Your right. It's mine."















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