* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*    Vol. 1, Issue 1: Mon, Jul. 10, 2000  *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. The Criminal Lawyer







2. The Intelligent Snail







3. Two fools are flying















# S T A F F   C O M M E N T S















We hope you enjoy our first joke newsletter







to be released since we began accepting







subscribers.  We apologize to those that







have been waiting for this for some time;







we simply wanted to wait until we had







a good number of subscribers before sending







launching the newsletter.















We hope you will still remain as a







subscriber.  Thanks for supporting us,







and we truly look forward to making you







laugh.















# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















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1. The Criminal Lawyer















A man who had been caught embezzling







millions from his employer went to a







lawyer seeking defense. He didn't want to







go to jail. But his lawyer told him,







"Don't worry. You'll never have to go to







jail with all that money.  And the lawyer







was right. When the man was sent to prison,







he didn't have a dime.















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2. The Intelligent Snail















There was once a snail who was sick and







tired of his reputation for being so slow.







He decided to get some fast wheels to make







up the difference. After shopping around







a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z







was the car to get. So the snail goes to







the nearest Datsun dealer and says he







wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it







repainted "240-S".















The dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"















The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail.







I want everybody who sees me roaring past







to know who's driving."















Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the







unique opportunity to sell a car to a







snail, so he agrees to have the car







repainted for a small fee.















The snail gets his new car and spent







the rest of his days roaring happily down







the highway at top speed. And whenever







anyone would see him zooming by, they'd







say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"















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3. Two fools are about to go flying















Two morons stand on a cliff with their







arms outstretched. One has some budgies







lined up on each arm, the other has







parrots lined up on his arms.















After a couple of minutes, they both







leap off the cliff and fall to the







ground.















Laying next to each other in intensive







care at the hospital, one moron says







to the other, "I don't think much of







this budgie jumping."















The other moron replies, "Yeah, I'm







not too keen on this paragliding







either."















# S I T E  L I N K S















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