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 Lightbulb joke collection 47Q:  How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb?A:  None. That's what research students are for.
 
 Q:  How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb?
 A:  Five: One to write the grant proposal, one to do the mathematical modelling, one to type the research paper, one to submit the paper for publishing, and one to hire a student to do the work.
 
 Q:  How many sheep does it take to change a lightbulb ?
 A:  Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to follow him round while he looks for a new one.
 
 Q:  Why did the `Real Man' sit in the dark?
 A:  He couldn't find a new light bulb and was too embrassed to ask.
 
 Q:  How many George Smillivitches does it take to change a lightbulb?
 A:  None, becouse tough girls aren't afraid of the dark.
 
 Q:  How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
 A:  None:  A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it, and one of them can change the bulb while he's at it.
 
 Q:  How many French farmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
 A:  Three. Farmer #1 goes away and gets a new lightbulb. Farmer #2 notices that it has been imported from Britain and promptly sets fire to it, so farmer #1 has to go and get another one, and then farmer #3 changes it.
 
 Note: Topical to French farmers setting fire to imported British sheep.)
 
 Q:  How many Ku Klux Klansmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
 A:  One hundred-one to do it and the others to stand around solemnly and watch the old bulb burn.
 
 
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