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German Jokes

Q: How does a German eat mussels


Q: What's the difference between a German and a shopping trolley?

A: A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.

Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France?

Germans like to march in the shade.

After much discussion as to where the capital of the new Germany should be -- Bonn or Berlin -- a compromise was struck: Paris.

Belgium's national motto:

Belgium: Gateway to France!

Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?

A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

Q: What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany's best comedian?

A: Only the first one can make you smile.

Q: Why was the Dresden bombing a mistake ?

A: The RAF made a (H)ASH of it!

Q: How many people fron Dresden can you fit in a mini ?

A: About 25000 if you've got a shovel

Heard about the new German-Chinese restaurant? The food is great, but an hour later, you're hungry for power.

Q: Have you heard about the new German microwave ?

A: It's got ten seats inside.

Q: Why don't Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?

A: They give them gas.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?

A: A Beaner-Schnitzel

"Two Martinis, bitte."


"Nein, I said TWO!"

Do you know why Germans build such high-quality products?

So they won't have to go around being nice while they fix them.

Knock Knock

Who's there?


Gestapo who?

Ve Vill ask ze Questions!

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