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Vending machine

After many unhappy replies from our current

vending service we decided that what they

really needed was a different form letter

that was more closely tied to their true


        BFD Vending Service

Thank you for your inquiry/comments/complaints

about our vending service.

___ We are aware that _____________ machine

has not been stocked in _____ days.

  __ We are waiting for the weekend.

  __ We are out of items that have expired.

  __ We're busy, don't bother us about this.

  __ We don't care.

___ We are aware that the price for _______

seems high at $_______ but,

  __ we have to make a living.

  __ we use an algorithm 3*retail+your_age.

  __ we charge others more.

  __ we adjust it to allow for spoilage.

___ We are aware that

  __ the sodas are warm

  __ the milk is curdled

  __ sandwiches are stale

  __ gum is hard

  __ candy bars are petrified

     and assure you that that is

     the way it is supposed to be, really.

___ We understand that

  __ the bill changer can't,

  __ coin return won't,

  __ product selection doesn't,

     and believe that

  __ you should relax, it all evens out.

  __ learn to live with it.

  __ bring in your own change next time.

  __ be happy it gave you anything.

  __ quit eating so much junk food.

Thank you and Happy Eating.

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