Washington Jokes

Washington Jokes

Washington jokes and humor, relating to many aspects of the state, its weather, and its people.

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Washington Jokes

Washington Jokes

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington: We like our state, so stay out!

Dumb Washington Laws

  • All lollipops are banned.

  • A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town."

  • It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.

  • People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.

  • All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag (daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said vehicle.

  • It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich.

  • You are not allowed to breast feed in public.

  • When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed.

  • You are breaking the law if you sell or place in the stream of commerce a crib that has: corner posts that extend more than 1/16-inch above end panels; slats more than 2 3/8 inches apart; a mattress support that releases easily from corner posts; cutout designs on the end panels; tears in mesh or fabric; missing or loose screws, bolts, or hardware; sharp edges, points, or rough surfaces on wood surfaces that are not smooth and free from splinters, splits or cracks. The new Infant Crib Safety Act in California (AB 3760, Speier), Colorado (SB 98-023,Pascoe and Morrison) and Washington State (SSB 6229, Kohl and Pennington) states that "no commercial user shall manufacture, retrofit, sell, contract to sell or resell, lease, sublet or otherwise place in the stream of commerce, a full-size or non-full-size crib that is unsafe for any infant using the crib.

  • You cannot buy meat of any kind on Sunday.


  • Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.


  • You may not chuck peanuts on the street.


  • It is illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a store window.


  • Dancing and drinking may not occur at the same establishment.


  • You may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.

  • Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.

  • No one may set fire to another person's property without prior permission.

  • It is illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus because the sound of the water sloshing may disturb other passengers.


  • TV's may not be bought on Sundays.

    Waldron Island

  • No structure shall contain more than two toilets that use potable water for flushing. -San Juan County Ordinance NO. 7 -1995 (Passed June 7,1995)


  • You may not ride an ugly horse.


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