Ohio Jokes

Ohio Jokes

Ohio jokes and humor, relating to many aspects of the state, its weather, and its people.

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Ohio Jokes

Ohio Jokes

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

A short story...

In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain,which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.

Dumb Ohio Laws

  • In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00.
  • Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
  • It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
  • It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
  • The Ohio driver's education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
  • Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.
  • Breast feeding is not allowed in public.
  • It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
  • It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.
  • Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes.
  • No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.

    Bay Village

  • It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road.


  • Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses.

    Clinton County

  • Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines.


  • It's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license!
  • Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear.


  • It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday.

    Fairview Park

  • It's against the law to honk your horn "excessively". A grandmother was fined for honking her horn twice at her neighbor.
  • Items left on a tree lawn become city property. A young man was fined for removing an item from a tree lawn even though he had the owner's permission.


  • Cross-dressing is against the law.


  • Any map that does not have Lima clearly stated on the map cannot be sold.


  • It is unlawful to run a horse over five miles per hour.


  • You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.

    North Canton

  • It is against the law to roller skate without notifying the police.


  • Your goose may not paraded down Main Street.


  • It's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.


  • A policeman may bite a dog to quiet him.


  • Throwing a snake at anyone is illegal.


  • Catch 22 is banned.


  • Riding on the roof of a taxi cab is not allowed.
  • You may not run out of gas.


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