North Carolina Jokes

North Carolina Jokes

North Carolina jokes and humor, relating to many aspects of the state, its weather, and its people.



Jokes
 Location: Clean Jokes > State Jokes > North Carolina Jokes

Enter your E-MAIL address BELOW for JOKES by E-MAIL once a WEEK!




Sponsored Links



Laugh Links
- Funny Jokes
- Funny Cartoons
- Random Jokes
- Fun Pages
- Funny Videos
- Funny Forwards
- Funny Audio
- Fun Downloads
- Funny Links
> Featured Today
- What's new?
- Joke of the Day
- Funny Pic of Day
> Other Options
- Link to Us
- Submit a Joke


North Carolina Jokes

North Carolina Jokes

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable


2000 Federal Census for North Carolina







Last name: ________________ 







First name: (Check appropriate box) 



(_) Billy-Bob 



(_) Billy-Joe 



(_) Billy-Ray



(_) Billy-Sue 



(_) Billy-Mae 



(_) Billy-Jack 







What does everyone call you?



(_) Booger 



(_) Bubba 



(_) Junior 



(_) Sissy 



(_) Other___________________ 







Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) 







Sex: 



____ M



_____ F



_____ Not sure 







Shoe Size:



____ Left 



____ Right 







Occupation: (Check appropriate box) 



(_) Farmer



(_) Mechanic 



(_) Hair Dresser 



(_) Unemployed 



(_) Dirty Politician 



(_) Preacher 







Spouse's Name:_________________________ 



2nd Spouse's Name:_____________________ 



3rd Spouse's Name:_____________________ 



Lover's Name:__________________________ 







Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box) 



(_) Sister



(_) Brother 



(_) Aunt 



(_) Uncle 



(_) Cousin 



(_) Mother 



(_) Father 



(_) Son 



(_) Daughter 



(_) Pet 







Number of children living in household: _____ 



Number of children living in shed: ______ 



Number that are yours: ______ 







Mother's Name: _______________________ 



(If not sure, leave blank) 



Father's Name: _______________________ 



(If not sure, leave blank) 







Education: 1 2 3 4 



(Circle highest grade completed) 







Do you 



(_) own or 



(_) rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box) 







Total number of vehicles you own: ___ 



Number of vehicles that still crank: ___ 



Number of vehicles in front yard: ___ 



Number of vehicles in back yard: ___ 



Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___ 







Firearms you own and where you keep them: 



____ truck 



____ bedroom 



____ bathroom 



____ kitchen 



____ shed 







Model and year of your pickup: 196___ 







Do you have a gun rack? 



(_) Yes 



(_) No; If no, please explain: 







Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: 



(_) The National Enquirer 



(_) The Globe 



(_) TV Guide 



(_) Soap Opera Digest 



(_) Rifle and Shotgun 







Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____ 



Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:_____ 



Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____ 







How often do you bathe: 



(_) Weekly 



(_) Monthly 



(_) Not Applicable 







Color of eyes: 



Left______ 



Right_____ 







Color of hair: 



(_) Blond 



(_) Black 



(_) Red



(_) Brown 



(_) White 



(_) Clairol 







Color of teeth: 



(_) Yellow 



(_) Brownish-Yellow 



(_) Brown 



(_) Black 



(_) N/A 







Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: 



(_)Red-Man 







How far is your home from a paved road? 



(_) 1 mile 



(_) 2 miles 



(_) just a whoop-and-a-holler 



(_) road? 




Dumb North Carolina Laws

  • It's against the law to sing off key.
  • Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
  • If a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.
  • All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart. Making love in the space between the beds is strictly forbidden.
  • A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent.

    Barber

  • Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.

    Chapel Hill

  • It is a misdemeanor to urinate or defecate publicly.

    Charlotte

  • Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.

    Elon College

  • There is to be no rollerblading during daylight hours, on the roads, or on the bricks. All the sidewalks at this college are made of brick. (Repealed in 1998)

    Forest City

  • You must stop and call City Hall before entering town in an automobile. This is so the townspeople will have time to go out and hold their horses until you get through town.

    Greensboro

  • Restaurants "with on sidewalk dining" must post their menu so that it is clearly readable from the sidewalk, but is not readable from the street.

    Hornytown

  • Massage parlors have been banned.

    Kill Devil Hills

  • You may not ride a bicycle without having both your hands on the handle bars.

    Rocky Mount

  • It is required that you must pay a property tax on your dog.

    Southern Shores

  • It is against the law to rollerblade on a state highway.

    Share:  

    Search for Jokes by Keyword



  • Copyright © 2014 Aha! Jokes LLC. Reproduction in part or whole strictly prohibited. Use subject to terms.
    [ Jokes | Corporate Center | Advertise | Contact Us ]