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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *
* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *
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*   Vol. 7, Issue 04: Thu, Sep. 28, 2000  *
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* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes

# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E

1. Bad news and terrible news
2. Examining the witness

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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y

1. Bad news and terrible news

This guy was sitting in his attorney's office. "Do
you want the bad news first or the terrible news?"
the lawyer asked. 

"Give me the bad news first." 

"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million
dollars." 

"That's the bad news?" asked the man incredulously.
"I can't wait to hear the terrible news." 

"The terrible news is that it's of you and your
secretary." 

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2. Examining the witness

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was
cross-examining a pathologist. 

Here's what happened: 

Attorney: Before you signed the death
certificate, had you taken the pulse? 

Coroner: No. 

Attorney: Did you listen to the heart? 

Coroner: No. 

Attorney: Did you check for breathing? 

Coroner: No. 

Attorney: So, when you signed the death
certificate, you weren't sure the man was
dead, were you? 

Coroner: Well, let me put it this way.
The man's brain was sitting in a jar on
my desk. But I guess it's possible he
could be out there practicing law somewhere. 

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