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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







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*   Vol. 7, Issue 04: Thu, Sep. 28, 2000  *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Bad news and terrible news







2. Examining the witness















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Bad news and terrible news















This guy was sitting in his attorney's office. "Do







you want the bad news first or the terrible news?"







the lawyer asked. 















"Give me the bad news first." 















"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million







dollars." 















"That's the bad news?" asked the man incredulously.







"I can't wait to hear the terrible news." 















"The terrible news is that it's of you and your







secretary." 















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2. Examining the witness















In a murder trial, the defense attorney was







cross-examining a pathologist. 















Here's what happened: 















Attorney: Before you signed the death







certificate, had you taken the pulse? 















Coroner: No. 















Attorney: Did you listen to the heart? 















Coroner: No. 















Attorney: Did you check for breathing? 















Coroner: No. 















Attorney: So, when you signed the death







certificate, you weren't sure the man was







dead, were you? 















Coroner: Well, let me put it this way.







The man's brain was sitting in a jar on







my desk. But I guess it's possible he







could be out there practicing law somewhere. 















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