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Lawyer Humor

Question and answer jokes

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
A: One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other is a fish.

Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: Once launched, they can't be recalled.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: When they land, they prevent anything from functioning for the next hundred years.


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