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You Might Be A Redneck If 58

You might be a reneck if...


Your lawn mower has more horsepower than your wife's car, but no blade.


You roll your pickup truck and laugh about it.


You think the blood on the front of your pickup truck looks cool.


You think the blood on the back of your pickup truck looks cool.


Your pickup truck no longer has a back.


The worst day of your life was when you dropped your bottle of Jack Daniels the other day.


The best day of your life was when you found an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels "over yonder in them hills."


Your mustache is longer than your wife's hair.


Cruise control in your truck involves fishing line, a pulley and a hook.


Your gear shift lever is a pair of vise grips.