One Liner Jokes

"Good crowd...good crowd. I'm telling you I could use a good crowd. I'm ok now but last week I was in rough shape... Why? I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."


"I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great Uncle fought for the west!"


"My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens."


"When I was born..the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father...I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."


"My mother had morning sickness after I was born."


"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet."


"When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up."


"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."


"What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm!"