One Liner Jokes

You can always get a job in international affairs because 90% of everything happens in a foreign country.


I called the Census Bureau to see why they hadn't sent me a form, and they said that I was too nondescript to influence the demographics one way or another.


She had a face lift, tummy lift, and buttock lift, and now she's two feet off the ground.


Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.


I listen to the police band on my CB radio. Once I dialed 911 and dedicated a crime to my girlfriend.


Eventually, the water hazard will be filled with golfballs. It will still be a hazard, though, because you're only allowed to hit your own ball.


The original Mickey Mouse cartoon was in Mouse, with English subtitles.


I daydreamed that I was falling and, just before I hit the ground, I fell asleep.


Which of the Himalayas is the shortest?