State Jokes

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign




River Cruise

A Louisiana man walks into a travel agancy in response to an ad about free river cruises. As the man described why he was there to the lady behind the desk, the woman hit a button, two men spring up behind the guy, beat him up, take his wallet , stuff him into a sack, and throw him out back into the river.


A few moments later another Louisiana man walks in and also begins to speak when the woman hits the same button. The two men spring out, beat him up, stuff him in a sack, steal his wallet, and throw him out back into the river.


A few miles down river the two men catch up to one another and the first man says, "I wonder if they serve dinner on this cruise?"


The second replies,"They didn't last year."




Louisiana DWI

A young man was pulled over by the Louisiana state police for speeding. The officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man's window. "What chew driving so fast for son? You going to a fahr?. Let me see your license, boy."


The young man handed over his license. Then the officer noticed that the back seat of his car was full of large knives.


The officer said, "Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?"


The young man replied, "Well sir, I'm a juggler."


The officer spat some tobacco juice and then he said, "A juggler; well you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!"


The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The officer reluctantly allowed him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint.


Two miles down the road at Joe's Tavern, Billy Bob was drinking it up with Homer T. Ratcliff. He soon left and got into his old, rusty pickup truck. He proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side. Suddenly Billy Bob spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest phone booth and dialed the number for Joe's Tavern and asked for his buddy, Homer T. Ratcliff. When Homer got on the phone Billy Bob said, "Whatever you do when you leave that tavern, don't go north on 442. The state police are giving a sobriety test that nobody can pass!!"




Apartment for Rent

An Alabama man was looking for a place to live, but wasn't having much success. Finally he came upon a farm house, figuring he had nothing to lose, he asked the farmer if he had a room for rent.


The farmer said the only place he had left was the outhouse and that he was welcome to rent it.


The man was grateful and moved in right away.


The next day the farmer saw 2 T.V. antennas on top of the outhouse and was bewildered, so he knocked on the door to ask about the extra antenna.


The man said, "Well, I sublet the basement to a guy from Louisiana."




Dumb Louisiana Laws

It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.


Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."


It is illegal to gargle in public places.


New Orleans

You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.


It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.






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