Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many copyeditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. "I'm not changing a thing"




Q: How many marketing directors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: It isn't too late to make this neon instead, is it?




Q: How many proofreaders does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Proofreaders aren't supposed to change lightbulbs. They should just query them.




Q: How many publishers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Three. One to screw it in. Two to hold down the author.




Q: How many sales directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: (pause) I get it! This is one of those lightbulb jokes, right?




Q: How many social workers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Four. One to remove the bulb from the socket and take it away without checking whether or not there was actually anything wrong with it, one to accuse its owners of mistreating it, one to find somewhere else to screw it in for the next 6 months, and one to eventually bring it back and say it was all done with the lightbulb's best interests at heart.




Q: How many social workers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Four. One to change the bulb, one to counsel the old bulb because it's been thrown away by an uncaring society, one to arrange the case conference and one to make sure they are all following the correct working practice.




Note: Several of the jokes below relate to Ivy league schools. No offense was meant by them.




Q: How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None--Hanover doesn't have electricity!


Note: Dartmouth is way out in the middle of nowhere in New Hampshire.