Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many Jo Brands does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None, you give it to a bloody man to do, cos it's a piece of cake, isn't it? Well, no, actually, that expression is crap isn't it, because if you had a piece of cake, you'd bloody well eat it, wouldn't you?




Q: How many DIY buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only one, but it takes him two weekends and three trips to the hardware store.




Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but it takes twelve steps.




Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, as long as he admits he's powerless over light bulbs.




Q: How many recovering addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One to screw it in and one to sponsor him.




Q: How many Soviet emigres does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Four. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb, two to lift the chair by its legs, one to call an American and to ask which way to turn the chair.




Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a Soviet emigre?

A: One, if you aim well.