Insulting Jokes

You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.


I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.


In the next life, you'll blaze a way for us.


You are master in your own house -- the doghouse!


When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.


You make me believe in reincarnation. Nobody can be as stupid as you in one lifetime.


Believe me, I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit?


I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla.


Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.


Some day you will find yourself -- and wish that you hadn't.


People clap when they see you -- their hands over their eyes or ears.


Whatever is eating you -- must be suffering horribly.