Insulting Jokes

I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly.


I hear you are connected to the Police Department -- by a pair of handcuffs.


Hello -- tall, dark and obnoxious!


You remind me of the ocean -- you make me sick.


You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.


All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it's hard to believe thatmany people are to blame for producing you.


Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down.


I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.


They just invented a new coffin just for you that goes over the head. It's for people who are dead from the neck up.


After hearing you talk, I now know that the dead do contact us.


You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.


I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter, but now I see you are not worth it!