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Connecticut Jokes
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet
Dumb Connecticut Laws
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays.
The marriage of imbeciles and feeble-minded persons is prohibited. (Repealed)
It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway.
No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind.
Devon
It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
Guilford
Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display.
Hartford
You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.
You may not educate dogs.
It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.
New Britain
It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.
Southington
Silly string is banned.
Waterbury
It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle, or sing while working on a customer.
A while ago, I went skiing in England. It was a rare package: two weeks in England, one night in Connecticut, two weeks in England. I said, "Yes, I'll take it." I got on this chairlift with this guy I didn't know. We went halfway up the mountain without saying a word. Then he turned to me and said, "You know, this is the first time I've gone skiing in ten years." I said, "Why did you take such a long time off?" He said, "I was in prison. Want to know why?" I said, "Not really. Well, you better tell me why." He said, "I pushed a total stranger off a Ferris wheel." I said, "I remember you."
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